The Art of Followership

Many business books advocate “leading from behind” or “leading from the sidelines”. But, for those who want credit without accepting any responsibility or blame, nothing beats “following from the front.”

            The big advantage to being in front is that you automatically get the credit. It is only natural to assume that the drum major is controlling where the parade goes. But running to the front of the parade and waving your baton can be tricky when you don’t know what direction the parade will be heading in once people get moving. A few simple rules help here:

1. Be sure to make statements on both sides of all issues early on. That way when one side prevails, you can point to your early statement to show that you were in front of the issue.
2. Make your statements as incoherent as possible. Speak in glowing generalities, and avoid getting tripped up in specifics that might show that are not really in front of the issue, or worse, have no idea what the issue is really about.
3. Whenever possible, get underlings to fight about the issue, and then pick the winner. But insist on absolute loyalty and bully the underlings into sycophants so that whatever position they offer will be flattering to you.
4. Always characterize the early statement you made as the key to the entire situation. Ignore any other issues or any problems you overlooked. Just keep on repeating that you saved millions of dollars or millions of lives; some people will believe you. I don’t know why, but they will.
5. Insist on being the face of the issue. The sheer repetition will make some people think you know what you are talking about. Because repetition increases chances of a gaffe, keep Rules 1 and 2 in mind at all times.
6. Above all else, always sound strong and confident. If you are confident, people will have confidence in you. In case you had forgotten, the “con” in “con man” is short for “confidence.” And no con man can afford to be short on confidence, no matter how bleak the situation.

The obvious downside to “following from the front” is that the person in front normally gets the blame when things go wrong, as well as the credit when things go right. Here again, a few simple rules will help you assure that the buck stops somewhere else. The key, of course, is having someone else to blame.

1. Loyalty is a one-way street. While your followers have to swear utter fealty to you, you should be ready to drop them at the first sign of trouble. This may make your team look like a revolving door to outsiders, but keeping followers in fear is an effective way to keep them loyal. (At least until they are dumped, and spill the beans. But then you can claim that they were fired for being incompetent, and are only disgruntled ex-employees.)
2. Structure decision making so that there is always a “task force leader” (or some other nominal title) between you and the pitchforks.
3. Ignorance really can be bliss. You have to practice your lines until you can repeat smoothly and convincingly: “I hadn’t heard about that,” “I don’t really know him that well,” “No one told me about that.”  You can come up with others as well. The key is that nobody can blame you for a problem you didn’t know about.  You just have to hope that no one points out that it is your job to know about problems, and that no one asks the question again after you have had the opportunity to learn the facts.  Since today’s media has the attention span of a gnat, the risk is minimal. When in doubt, remember: confidence.
4. Above all else, you must have enemies. You should, of course, decry the fact that some people are against you, but enemies are the key to avoiding blame. They let you assert that all information that might discredit you is “fake news” or a “hoax” perpetrated by people trying to hurt you for their own evil reasons. Once again, fear is the key. You want to pick enemies that people are already afraid of, since that lets you stoke their existing fears to ignore inconvenient facts that might otherwise cause trouble.
5. Finally, it helps to have allies. If there are others who are willing to attack your enemies, and stoke the same fears you are encouraging, it makes your job much easier. Particularly if there are people who will do so in anonymous or misleading fashion on the Internet. Never underestimate the power of a skilled campaign of disinformation. You can simply ride the wave of passion, your hair unruffled, as the chaos swirls around you.

Few other strategies offer the risk/benefit balance of “following from the front.”  It is currently being beta tested. If it proves successful, we can expect it to supplant all the so-called gurus pushing “leadership” as an ideal we should be seeking. Get ready.